Bob Hauer

Bob Hauer

Dad. Radio personality. Unapologetic shenanigator.Full Bio

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HauerTo: How to Fright Right This Halloween

Halloween pumpkin and scarecrow old backgrounds

Photo: XH4D / E+ / Getty Images

It’s spooky season, which means it’s time to jump out from behind hedges, fire up the fog machine, and make at least one neighborhood kid scream. But there’s a fine line between fun spooky and therapy spooky.

Here’s how to celebrate Halloween like a pro — without ending up on Nextdoor.

1. Read the Room (and the Age Range)

If your trick-or-treaters still have light-up sneakers, maybe skip the chainsaw. Keep it silly-scary — ghosts, pumpkins, fake spiders. Save the psychological horror for the teenagers who ask for ā€œjust one moreā€ Reese’s.

2. Sound is Everything

You don’t need Hollywood effects — just some smart sound hacks. A Bluetooth speaker under the porch with creaky doors or howling winds does wonders. Bonus: if things get too spooky, you can just hit pause and pretend you didn’t do it.

3. The Fog Machine Rule

Fog is fun. Fog indoors is a fire alarm waiting to happen. Keep it outside, point it low, and don’t aim it at passing traffic — nothing kills the vibe faster than a confused SUV honking at your yard.

4. Keep It Safe (and ADA Friendly)

Trip hazards are the real horror. Keep cords out of walkways, light the path, and if you’re using props, make sure no one has to duck, crawl, or leap over your dĆ©cor just to get candy. (Unless your goal is ā€œHaunted ER.ā€)

5. Don’t Forget the Reset

After the last trick-or-treater, give your ghostly gadgets a break. Unplug the strobes, turn off the screams, and maybe check that the skeleton you hung in the tree isn’t still flailing in the wind at 3 a.m.

Scaring responsibly doesn’t make you boring — it just means everyone gets to have fun and go home smiling. So this Halloween, go big, get spooky, and keep the terror level somewhere between ā€œboo!ā€ and ā€œboo-hoo.ā€


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